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Calculus in the Afterlife:

Two older instructors are sitting around the department lounge, talking about how much they love to teach, but hate giving exams. ``In heaven, I bet they have no exams!" says one of them. ``All the students would come to class prepared, but there would be no exams to give and grade." ``What a place," says the second. ``Hey, let's make a pact. Whoever dies first comes back and tells the other what it's like to teach calculus in heaven ." ``Sounds good," says the first. A week later the first instructor slips on a discarded pocket protector and leaves this world. That night, while the second instructor is sleeping, the first one comes to visit him in a dream. ``So, what's it like?" asks the second. ``Well, I have good news and bad news," says the first. ``The good news is that there is calculus teaching in heaven, and I have to tell you, the students are fantastic. Enthusiastic. Attentive. It's a dream come true. And no exams whatsoever! They don't call it heaven for nothing." ``Wow, that sounds great," says the second. ``What's the bad news?" The first shrugs. ``You're teaching on Monday."

As the time for the exam approaches, it is likely that your instructor will realize that some key topic that should appear on the exam was never discussed in class. So drink coffee, stick a tack in your shoe, do whatever it takes

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Joel Hass